I always imagined that I would be a super chill parent, infallible to the unplanned, unshakeable by the unexpected, cool in a crisis. As seems to be the running trend I have since discovered that I am not. Not at all.
My darling child appears to be the most skilled person in my life at pressing all the right buttons to get my eyes twitching and temples pulsing. She is also highly skilled at defusing things at the final moment before I explode, perhaps by bending all the way forward and shouting “UPSIDE DOWN” or resting her curly head on my chest and saying “aww Mummy”. It’s amazing the hormones that are still triggered by this tiny human. I still find myself at the end of most days looking through photos and videos of her, feeling my womb flicker and the warmth of love flowing through me. I think I might love my child the most when she is tucked up in bed asleep and I’m looking through the picture perfect moments of the day.
My little beasts newest talent is public humiliation. She is only in the early days of learning to tantrum so I’m sure this will only get worse in time. To be fair to her a lot of the time when we are out and about she is utterly charming, a big smile is plastered on her face as she waves at the strangers we pass by. Often when in a queue she has befriended the people behind us and it takes me a while to catch on, normally when they start asking me questions about her or commenting on her curls. In recent weeks though she has a new game saved for when it’s just the two of us together, she basically spends her time pointing at every and any man and says “Daddy?” in a slightly questioning tone. The act itself doesn’t embarress me hugely, however what becomes butt-clenchingly awkward is the reaction of some of the males as they turn red and profess to her that no, they aren’t her Daddy, followed by statements such as “oh no I don’t think I am your Daddy, I’m not ready for that yet”. WHAT?? He doesn’t THINK he is your Dad?! I tell you what I KNOW, I know he isn’t, why is he even questioning it?! Surely not on the word of a 17 month old. It’s as if they think that we truly are on a search for the unknown father in our local ALDI store.
I guess her Dad does shop there sometimes…
What little things do your kids do that embarrass you in public?